fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
