I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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