I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
