I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
