They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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