so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
