I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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