We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
