his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
