his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Randomize
