More tranny stories later!
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Randomize
