PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
