you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize