The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You don't make any sense
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