guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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