Just cropdusted the office
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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