Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
false alarm. still invincible.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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