Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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