i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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