in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
