My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
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my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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