What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
