Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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