that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
