I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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