Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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