ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
