Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Is Oprah even human
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
