i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
