Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
