New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
