We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
