Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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