my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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