I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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