i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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