my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
