you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
