btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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