I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
