Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
