I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
