Three words: puerto rican gang bang
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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