even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
