I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
