there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
you didnt know i had herpes?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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