Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
