I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
