He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
