We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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