If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
