just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
