Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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