it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
This house was built for laser tag.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
