It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
