That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
