dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
