i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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