i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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