Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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