It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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