Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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