If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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