To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
