he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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