What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
