i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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