He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
