dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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