i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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