Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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