i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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